Monday, December 31, 2007

Holy Cow!

I got a free bouquet of roses! They are so pretty! Bath and Body Works was having a killer sale, so for $100 I have enough, shampoo, conditioner, shower gel, body lotion AND wall flowers to last me the rest of the year! (ok, I will probably need more shampoo and shower gel, but you get my point!) I loaded up on ink for my printer, found a talented potter and got a small little bowl, some fresh cheese, fresh pears, a new calendar, etc. So much fun! I found a few places that I had no clue existed so that is cool and I am getting the art framed that my son's girlfriend brought me from the Dominican Republic (an acrylic piece that is sooo me!) It was great fun meeting all the people that I ran into. I took a bit longer than I expected and missed the first half of the first bowl game, but it is ok, I have the rest of the day and all day tomorrow to watch football! More on that tomorrow, as it is the day that Michigan plays! GO BLUE!!! Peace.

Happy Last day of the year!

Today I am going to be out and about running some errands. I have a load of coupons from the welcome wagon (really, lol) so I thought it would be good to get my ass out into Ann Arbor and cash in on some of these and be around real live people! I have mapped it all out so as not to drive in circles. There are things on my list of needs that just happen to fit into some of these coupons so it worked out well. The coupons themselves are not coupons for 20% off, they are more like gift certificates or something for free (like a bouquet of flowers) very nice!

I am hoping you all have a splendid day! Peace.

Sunday, December 30, 2007


Personal Journal Warning - Enter at your own risk! I have been writing this for some time, I just return to add to it and now it is time to just put it out there.

The last few months (as you have read about) have been a challenge for me. A challenge that taught me a great deal about myself and how I want to live my life. As I have been preparing for the new term, I am taking "inventory" of sorts and planning out this life. I think it is rather odd, that a woman can arrive at age 46 years old and look back on her life and wonder why she has not even begun to live it. That sounds incredibly strange, given that I have been successful, I raised three children who are all upstanding adults, I have some beautiful friends who care about me in ways that I hope I also care about them. So why does it feel to me that I have not begun to live my life? I think it is complicated and there is a part of me that is screaming to uncomplicate it. The simplest way to say it, is that I have been "waiting" for something my entire life. Ever since I can recall, I didn't feel "good enough" and there always seemed to be something that was not perfect about myself. This started when I was a young child. I have no specific event, no parental abuse (at least not physical, nor intentional) simply this "knowing" that I was not good enough. I am not making an excuse, I am just saying what it felt like. My entire growing up years, including high school was spent attempting to be "good enough". I did everything correctly, tried to be the "good girl". Basically, I lived my life for approval. *rolls eyes*. In respect to relationships. I gave everything I possibly could to my hubby, and it was never good enough, so I finally gave up. That colored how I would operate in all future relationships. I would give until there was no more to give and they would leave me, often saying that I gave too much. (wtf? LOL) I know that boundaries are important and I think that the Gemini in me is what causes me to have some difficulty in defining those boundaries. I see things from both sides. I understand. So when I should be saying "fuck off" I see their side of things, or what I believe to be their side of things, and suddenly there are no boundaries when in fact, I should have said, "fuck off" long before I do. But I digress. Back to the "waiting for something". I have felt that there is this beautiful, fun, exciting woman living inside of me all of this time and that I needed for something to change for that to be revealed. There have been many things that this something was. A few pounds, a six pack abdomen, longer hair, smaller feet (rofl), a degree, a better job, something, something....always something, and in the mean time what is happening? Well, as I said, I have managed to be successful and I am, after all admitted to one of the most prestigious schools in America to obtain my PhD , I am pretty, I am fun, etc. However I have consistently played "under the radar" In some way to say "don't get to know "THIS" Katie, the "real" Katie is much better. It hasn't helped that the few people that I do allow in, go running for the hills in time. Maybe it is because they sense this "insecurity" about myself. I know that when I am in a social situation and a man comes up to me, if he is a wimp and has a downward gaze, I am totally not interested. If he walks up to me with confidence, looking me in the eye, even if he is a geek, I am far more likely to respond. So I am certain that men can sense the same type of thing.

Ok, so what to do now? This is something that I have honestly been working on all year long. I have moments that I am on top of it, and moments that I regress. It is time to stop working on it and simply do it. Simply believe that I am good enough, too love myself fully, not waiting for that something to happen, because after 46 years of finding something that is not quite up to my standards, I am fairly sure that I will always find something new. I don't mean to make it sound like I have zero self esteem. Obviously to get where I am at, I had to have some confidence in myself, this is simply this piece of my soul that I have ignored. The Gnostic Gospels say this - If you bring out what is inside of you, what is inside of you will save you. If you fail to bring out what is inside of you, what is inside of you will destroy you. This is my way of bringing it out I suppose. How inspiring to be at a place that I can live this life and have it be what I truly have always wanted my life to be. And all those out there who think less of me for sharing this...........see if I care :o) Peace.

Skip the bookstore!

I just did the online thing. I saved 48% so that was great, but they better arrive as promised! I think that is why I typically do the bookstore, but the savings was significant, particularly when I have so many books to buy. I don't have the required books for one of my classes, so I still have to get those and there is one book that is recommended for another class as a reference and I am not inclined to buy it since it is $150 book, it is a stats book and I wish to God I would have not sold my last stats book. I didn't want to resell any of the 20 textbooks from last term, and I am certain that will be how each term is, at the graduate level, these books will be reference books for me for a long time to come (or at least through the duration of this degree). I still need to get some software though, which is a statistical program that I will use for a very long time, so it won't be too painful. I paid all the bills and have started on other things around this place. I hope to read a "real" book before the term begins, so if I can get everything done, I might have time to do that!

Ok, so I just peaked in at MGoBlog and they are rallying the troops for the game on Tuesday. Michigan fans have been so negative this year (with some reason), but it IS time to show our pride and have faith in this team! SO...GO BLUE!!!! WOOT!!!


I have so much to prepare to be ready for the start of the term. I went to the mall yesterday (good lord was that a mad house!) I stocked up on some supplements (trying to get myself past the no energy thing) and of course I swung by Sephora (my favorite store) and stocked up on hair care supplies) I also stopped by another store to get birthday gifts for the Scotts. Their birthdays are in January and next Saturday is the party! (No I am not telling what I got for you guys, so don't ask!) I did however forget to take my ink cartridges to get refilled, and my ink is low so I can't print everything that I need to for my first week of classes.....this of course means another trip to the mall (oh god please NO!!!!) Wednesday is going to be on campus, bookstores, etc getting software, books and other supplies. I have no clue where one of my classes is located. The other classes are in buildings that I have never been in, so this will be interesting to figure out where to go, where to park, etc. I will probably check that out on Wednesday as well. So I have 3 days to get things tied up here at the apartment, then a day on campus, then.....the fun begins again! I am actually a little excited about it. Of course, I have the bowl games to keep me entertained in between it all for the next few days! Well, I do believe that catches you up on things around here. I hope that things in your life are going well and you are finding peace and joy. Peace.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Bowl Week!

God I love college football bowl season! The games are typically always good, even if they are teams that I don't normally watch in the regular season. I am pretty nervous about the Michigan game next week, not only do I have some cash resting on them winning, I would so love to see this era of Michigan football go out with a huge win. I am just here making some jewelry and enjoying football, I have a few days to kick back a little and prepare for the next term. I hope you are having a great weekend, doing something you love! Peace.

Character Molding

A quote from a Tibetan philosopher of sorts, Sogyal Rinpoche:

“Although we have been made to believe that if we let go we will end up with nothing, life itself reveals again and again the opposite: that letting go is the path to real freedom. Just as when the waves lash at the shore, the rocks suffer no damage but are sculpted and eroded into beautiful shapes, so our characters can be molded and our rough edges worn smooth by changes. Through weathering changes, we can learn how to develop a gentle but unshakable composure. Our confidence in ourselves grows, and becomes so much greater that goodness and compassion begin naturally to radiate out from us and bring joy to others. That goodness is what survives death, a fundamental goodness that is in each and every one of us. The whole of our life is a teaching of how to uncover that strong goodness, and a training toward realizing it.”

Upon further review of my life, I would say that there have been many waves lashing at the shores of Katie, what a beautiful image to have, to think of these things as shaping the shoreline, smoothing the edges, developing a gentle but unshakable composure. The whole of our life is a teaching of how to uncover the goodness this creates. Peace.

Friday, December 28, 2007


This has officially become my home. It was such a relief to arrive. The weather became truly nasty and what is typically a 2 hour drive became a 3.5 hour drive. I lost count of the accidents and vehicles off the road, just about every mile there was one or the other. One accident involved at least 3 semi trucks, I-94 West from Jackson out about 10 miles was a parking lot, people were actually out of their cars standing around. (due to the semi truck accident up the road) Thankfully no traffic stopping accidents coming east, so I just had the snow and ice to deal with. (which was quite enough) I need to get the game turned on here and start the unpacking process. I managed to drag it all up the stairs, now it sits staring at me.....I sure hope I have some food in the house, I do not want to go back out in this crappy weather. I forgot to have them hold my mail, so after trying to cram it in to my box (which most of my mail is ripped to shreds because of it) they took the whole lot and threw it in front of my door. Nice. I did peruse through it briefly and noticed a card from Coach Carr. I had written to him after his retirement and he sent me a very nice card, so that was nice to receive. to find out if I have food, and start unpacking.........all while listening to the game (if I get it! Crap, I am going to miss my boys football package on their dish service! )


Hook 'Em!

Last night was a good bowl game! University of Texas played Arizona State University. Texas was on fire! They really played a good game. There was a play that was very odd, with a sideline coach for Texas touching (not touching) a live ball. The poor kid! Thankfully Texas didn't lose the game because of this mishap! ASU did score because of it though!

I am packed and ready to load the car.....the thought of having to drag all of it up to my apartment is not a good thought. I am lacking in energy in the worst way. I hope I get past this soon!

This story (Sorry, I am lame and don't know how to link it) this is the future of health care in America folks. Everyone is clamoring for national health care, however it is likely to cause this type of situation. We also have an aging population and from everything that I can tell, we are not addressing the issue, at least not in a timely fashion that we will be able to avoid such a travesty.

Ok....time to start loading the car. Oye. I did not get very much done around here. Well, wait, I did actually get a lot done, just not everything that I wanted to. If I could have laid on the sofa the whole time I would have! I think I am going to look into some herbal supplements. Resuming my workouts should also prove to provide some energy for me. Next Wednesday I will go to see the physician on campus as well. This is just not fun and I really need to have more energy and not feel so crappy.

Enough whining.......I am off.........I will catch you on the other side! Peace.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

They are OFF!

The kids left for Cozumel (Is that how you spell that?) They left in their wake a tornado! I have tonight to see what I can do with this place. Unfortunately I can not simply walk away. The boys did get their rooms clean and I can simply go in and put clean clothes away. Chrystal on the other hand, oye, she is the most disorganized person I have ever known! I should be able to whip things in shape enough tonight, go into the office tomorrow and then head back to Ann Arbor after work. I have been looking at the syllabus for each of my classes that begin next week and I need to download software and do some reading, etc plus there are things to do at the apartment. I forgot to have them hold my mail, no doubt the mailbox is full. I just need to go back to my own comfy bed and clean/organized space!

I have accomplished a great deal at the office, basically tying up the end of year reporting. I need to give serious thought to exactly what I am going to do for income during the next term. I won't be able to come back here often because of my schedule and I am certain that my funding will not last me the entire term. I need to promote my services and start selling my training of end of life care, that would be the ideal way to earn cash. Macy's would be dangerous for me :o) I am not going to worry about that right now though, first get my term started. I have a plan for meditating and exercising and getting myself out of the apartment each day and simply being a student! Hopefully it makes this term go a bit smoother than last term!

Ok, I need to get a few things finished before my father picks me up for dinner. He was hysterical at Christmas, he was taking a photo of me and said, "I am taking a picture of my kidney" HA! That is something that will be happening this next year too, as long as all goes well........donating a kidney to my father..........Ok.....I am off................peace.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Life is a bowl of Cherries

And why is it that I so often find myself in the bowl of pits? Geessh. This is a long story and one that I am not feeling that I wish to type out today, but let's just say that changing a tire twice within a week, in the fucking cold Michigan weather is not my idea of a good time. Particularly when in-between the tire changes I took it to the dealer, who apparently just put air back in the tire and rotated the tires. How do they miss a big ass nail in the tire? So, because I drove this tire on low air for so long, it was toast and I had to buy a new tire. Not a good time of year to shell out $80 that I don't have. Today has not been the best day in the history of Katie days. On top of that, I had a dream last night that I was dying and I was so distraught that I was dying alone, that was a bitch to wake up to. Katie needs an attitude adjustment! The good news is that I am sitting in a chair with my new massager, getting a back massage with heat. Ahhhhh.......hopefully you are all having a splendid day. Peace.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas to all of my peeps!

The kids talked me into opening their gifts last night. They didn't want to wake up early....ha!

Since they go to Mexico every year they usually bring me my gift from Mexico. My daughter decided to get me a little something before then, which is a massage cushion. One of those that you put in the chair and it has heat and massage, it is very soothing! I am certain as I sit in on my dining room chair while I write papers, this device is going to come in very handy! The family gift exchange yielded me a mini shop vac (which I can use!!) My father got me a Michigan Clock (Go Blue!) and my mother gave me a little cash (always needed, particularly this year) So I did fairly well, considering I don't typically get any gifts...LOL.

This morning I will spend cleaning up around here, then shower and head over to my mother's place.

I had a talk with the kids yesterday about the fact that we are in a transitional phase of learning how to be adult children (them) and the mother of adult children. I said that I was not likely to return home to clean up after them any longer and respect that this is how they choose to live. I will not be complaining about it. Their reaction was almost surprising (and not so much) "Well mother, you can clean up anything you want to, we don't mind" Yeah, right. LOL. Maybe they missed my point! I do know that the piece of pie that I ate last night with a knife, would have gone down a bit easier had their been a fork to eat it with. Since they have no silverware in the drawer, I can only assume that the forks are living in their bedrooms. I am tempted to go buy them some silverware, plates and bowls...however, I am certain, if they cleaned their rooms, they would have enough of said items to not need to purchase new. The question now for me is, "do I scour the house for them, or just walk away?" The answer depends on my energy level. I will do what I can, however they may need to decide how they really want to live, knowing that momma is not going to come home every few weeks to straighten them out. I know one thing for certain, I am looking forward to going back to Ann Arbor on Friday! :o)

Ok, I suppose I should figure out where to begin. This is a daily thing, I pick up, do dishes, go to bed and wake up to another mess, pick up, go into the office, come home to a mess.............moving to Ann Arbor was a good decision, this just makes me insane. I love them to pieces, but they have no concept of picking up after themselves. Ok, I am bitching again.......sorry.

Merry Christmas. Peace.

Monday, December 24, 2007

Mourning the loss of Football Season

I did not realize how much football season entertains me. HA! Sure the bowl games are starting, but I really only care about Michigan (although I am looking forward to watching the Hawaii vs Georgia game, as well as LSU vs OSU) but the bantering and camaraderie of the fans is very entertaining and that has all but disappeared. My sons like pro ball (and I tolerate it) so we have had some good conversations regarding the new style of football that Michigan is going to be seeing with the new coach. His offense is the opposite of what Michigan has ever played and he is also bringing new concepts for the defense. I have such a desire to discuss this and no one wants to play with me :o( Such is life.

I need to get this house picked up and make some pies. Once I have that under control then I will head over to where my son works and hope to find the remaining two gifts that I need to purchase. This afternoon is my family gathering. My brother is a HUGE Michigan fan so that should be some fun. He also has a pool table, so we have fun playing pool. Our family is large enough that it is impossible to buy gifts for everyone,so we do a gift exchange in "white elephant" fashion. Everyone brings a gift that has a value of $20 and then we fight over them all. It is rather fun. Two of my three kids will be there this year, the first time in nearly 10 years that this will occur since they are typically in Mexico on Christmas day. (they will leave on the 27th this year) I also get to spend Christmas morning with them, which will be fun, since I have not had that in almost never. For some reason I always let them be with their father on Christmas morning! I did manage to squeak out a few gifts for them, seeing that I am a very poor grad student, that was difficult, but I really wanted to have gifts for them on Christmas morning.

I think I may be coming down with a cold (I really hope not) Hopefully it is just a crashing from the stressful term. There is so much I want to do, so I really would enjoy a bit of energy. I also think I have a lingering sadness about my friend that doesn't help the situation. Anyway........maybe if I MOVE the energy will come. I know I will feel better once I get this place picked up!

Tomorrow I will be at my mother's for Christmas dinner. I am fairly sure that my brothers are all spending it with their wives families, so it is good that I will be with my mother. My kids will be around as well. I will pop on tomorrow to say Merry Christmas though! Peace.

[ed. note : Jo just got out of the shower and asked me to go get him some cough drops, he is sick, so maybe I really am coming down with something.....crap!]

Sunday, December 23, 2007

What fun!

Jenny and Paul (Thank you so much!) I had a wonderful time, a wonderful lunch and a perfect Christmas Gift, not to mention good friends to talk to you. It always is good to take a break from life and spend time with friends. I can not believe that tomorrow is Christmas Eve. I still have a little shopping left, just a little....but I have no clue where to find what I am looking for, or do I even know what I am looking for. Ah well.

I am watching 60 Minutes so I can see the interview with Yummy Tom Brady (Michigan Man!!).

That about does it, I will wait to wish you all a Merry Christmas until the day.....I am sure I will be around to do that! Peace.

Running Late

I should leave here about 9am to arrive and Paul and Jenny's by 10am. I am already running late! I ended up getting very little accomplished yesterday. I think my body was telling me to just take a break. So I did. Everything I eat comes out much quicker on the other end than it should still and that is enough to take a little wind out of the sails. I just don't eat much because when I do, I pay a fairly high price for it. This has been going on long enough, and I am fairly sure that my stress level has decreased enough that it should not be related to stress. So it has become somewhat of a concern to me, however nothing I can do much about at this point. When I get back to A2, I will go see the doc if this is still lingering. Ok, time to shower and get moving!!! I will be out for the day and will catch up with you all later! Peace.

Saturday, December 22, 2007


I could use some energy today. I am trying to get things done around here. It is nearly noon and the kids are still in bed...LOL. I did clean the boys bathroom. (gag!!) They shave their heads, not bald, but that close cut look, so there is always hair around the sink and floor. Totally gross. Chyrstal's bathroom was just remodeled so it is all fresh and clean, however the cupboard needs to be put back together. All of the items were removed by the workers, so I am about to go and do that. I will probably mop the kitchen floor after that. (oh no, not my to do list!! Sorry....I will shut up now)

Anyway, I need to assess the Christmas gifts that I have gotten for the kids and determine what is left to purchase. I had gotten Ben Guitar Hero's 3, only to find out that Chrystal already has it, so I returned that and now need to go to Circuit City to pick up Skull Candy headphones for him. (they don't read my blog, in fact they don't even know it exists so I am safe to put it out there....LOL) Jordan had gotten a pair of these headphones and they rock! They vibrate when the bass plays.......very cool. I am hoping that when I go to visit Jenny and Paul tomorrow, they will take me to Circuit City (how mean is that, to ask them to go shopping with me the day before Christmas Eve????) I am SOOOOOOOOOO excited to go see J&P. It will get me out of this house for one thing, but just to hang with them for the day and enjoy their company will be a much needed infusion to my soul. We might get really lucky and it won't be too cold and we can melt a little glass too, if we have time, I think we are going to talk so much that we won't even notice that the day will come and go before we know it! the bathroom........peace.

Friday, December 21, 2007

Good News and Bad news

Let's share the good news first! I got a call today from Little, he got a job in Ann Arbor! I am so excited about this! Congrats my dear friend! I am incredibly happy for you! I am counting on late dinners or early breakfast with you from time to time! I remember working midnights with you in the ED, you are a hell of a lot of fun on the graveyard shift! They are going to love you!

The bad news is, I hurt a friend today. :o( I hate when that happens. Although he hurt me too, so maybe that makes it even?

I need to head to the grocery store with about $20 in empty soda cans...LOL. I get to clean up the house again after that! Doesn't that sound like the most fun ever? I know I bitch about this every time I come home, and honestly, this problem is one of the reasons I chose to move to Ann Arbor...LMAO! They are college kids, what do I really expect? Meh.

Well....that is about it for today.......happiness for Scott, sadness about my friend, and annoyance at my children..........peace.

[ed note: make that $33 in cans! They had to call the manager to approve the amount...ROFL! AND, I have not gotten to their bedrooms yet , plus there is still a bag full in the kitchen!!!]

Thursday, December 20, 2007

There is a reason......

That children are suppose to move away from home when they become adults......because if they don't, they are likely to make their mother insane. I am not going into details, let's just say.....I get to go back to Ann Arbor in one week!!! I love my kids and they are really great kids, but they are college kids, and that means they are busy, and selfish, and well, capable of making me insane. :o) That is about the gist of my day, give or take a few ounces of sanity. I do hope that you are all having a much better day!


I set up the futon in the spare bedroom,( there was just a mattress on the floor) I had an extra mattress pad and sheet set for a full size bed at my apartment, only I don't have a full size bed at my apartment...LOL. So I brought them home, thinking I could use them on the futon, which seemed like a better option to me then the mattress. Well, I may have been wrong! This thing is so hard and uncomfortable! I did not sleep that well. Oh well. Only 8 more nights (oye, I miss my bed) I managed to get some gifts wrapped last night and get them under the tree. I need to run to the store to get a some more wrapping paper in order to finish it all. Not much else to share today, maybe more later. I hope that you all are having a spectacular day! Peace.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Oh please......

I arrive back at the house, every fucking light is on in the house, the tv is blaring, somebody's iPod is blaring and there is not a soul in the house. (except me now) There is not a feasible place to actually sit, without crap around me. This is seriously a problem. EEK! I am fairly sure that they all have their martial arts classes tonight, so I will begin the process of ripping through this mess and at the very least getting things picked up and put away and the laundry at least started. Tomorrow I can worry about the nastiness of the floors and other surfaces. Saturday will be for the bedrooms. (be afraid, very afraid). I did not raise my children like this. I am a clean, organized person. This is beyond reason, and if you can believe it......this is good compared to what it could be. *roll eyes*

On a happier note. I so love being back in the little pond. I stopped by the hospital and talked to my former administrative friends. I was able to have lunch with the hospice volunteers and I was able to be the "go to person" for some serious issues in the accounts receivable, some huge issues that I will spend the next few days cleaning up. At least it can be cleaned up. Nice to feel like I know what I am doing, and know what to do about it.

I learned so much from the first term. Just thinking about it, excites me to begin the next term. A few days ago, I would not have thought I would think that, but it is true. I am infused with this indestructible feeling.

Ok, the noise alone is about to make me insane, the tv and iTunes must be turned off (ok, maybe I will plug in my iTunes) and then, I will begin the process and at least make it so I can sit down later tonight without all of this shit surrounding me. Peace.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

I slept!

Gee did I ever! Nearly 12 hours! Tylenol PM works wonders :o) My laptop had to spend the night at the Apple Store :o( This is keeping me from traveling home at least for the day. It is not a total loss, as I have enough to do around here that I needed today to accomplish it anyway. Being in TR for 10 days is not high on my list of things to do, however I do need to make some cash and it will be fun to hang out with the kids. My annual Christmas scour of the house and their bedrooms will also occur. This is going to be the first year in something like 10 years that they will actually be home on Christmas morning. They won't leave for Can Cun until the 27th. I would have liked to do more shopping for them in A2, but I did manage to get a few things at the MDen for them and a stop at Sephora for my daughter. The rest I can get in Kalamazoo over the weekend. (oh yes, that is going to be one hell of a shopping trip, the last weekend before Christmas, I am totally insane!) They are not big Michigan fans, but I keep working on it. LOL!!! Ok, I suppose I should stop dilly dallying and get packed, etc. I hope that you are all having a great week so far. Christmas is one week from today!!!!! HOLY CRAP! Peace.

Monday, December 17, 2007


Ack, I can't sleep! I finally fell asleep around 1:30 am, only to wake up at 4 am and not be able to get back to sleep. I am turning in my last paper for the term this morning, Michigan has a new coach, so by all accounts I should have slept like a baby. Oh well. Things like this are bound to happen. There are about a million things that I need to accomplish today, so I may as well get started on them! WOOT! I survived my first term in graduate school! That is the good news for the day. :o) Peace.

Sunday, December 16, 2007


The drama is OVER!!! Tap the keg, shake the pom poms, Rich Rodriguez is the new Head Coach of Michigan. This is a good catch, make no mistake about it, however I am more excited that the damn search is over!! The media was killing me slowly with their horrible reporting and negative comments. Rich Rodriguez is the coach that invented the spread offense. He is a much needed infusion into the Michigan Offense. The spread offense is not something Michigan does and certainly not something our defense can defend, so it may be beneficial in more ways than one. The best part, is simply that it is over. We have a coach, and it is one that we can be proud to have. Woot!! (He is rather handsome too! ;o)

[ed.note: I stole the photo off some sports site, I don't remember which one, but since my little blog gets very little traffic, I am not too worried. Whoever took the photo and or owns the rights to it, my apologies, please contact me and I would be happy to give credit.]

Let it Snow!

It has been some time since we had a big dump of snow here in Michigan (Global warming and all) Last night that changed. We got what is being reported as 6 inches and it is still snowing and blowing so they are predicting another 2-3 inches. I wasn't fully prepared for it, but thankfully I don't own my own house today!! The grounds keeper here has already plowed once, if I was at home (yes, even with 2 boys living there) I would be out shoveling at this moment. LOL! I do need to go out in this today though, much to my dread, it would be nicer to stay in and make a cup of hot cocoa and watch it snow and blow. Although the party that I was suppose to attend has been cancelled, so it will just be a quick trip out and then I can return to the hot cocoa. I hope you are all keeping warm. And for my friends to the south, a photo of what it looks like to wake up to six inches of snow. Peace.

PS: Did you ever notice that the sounds of life appear cushioned in the snow? I was out on my balcony and just listening, it was like everything was cushioned in the snow, beautiful actually.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Not quite done....

I took a break and ran for a bit (ok, so I really was speed walking compared to real runners..LOL) Then I had a lovely spa day for myself, soaking in the tub, etc. I went to a local pub and hung out with the bartender and had some real food. It was nice to get out for a bit. I am taking the lessons I learned very seriously and LIVING this life that I have. I feel a little bad that my melt down caused some people to change their perception of me. I guess you can't unring the bell. Ok, so my "living my life" afternoon resulted in a paper that isn't finished yet...LOL. Back to that. Peace.

Gettin' 'er done

I am writing like a fool here, this paper is going into the can as early as I can possibly get it done, then maybe I will have time to head out into the fun world of A2 tonight! I hope you are all having a superb weekend. Peace.

Friday, December 14, 2007

One down.....

One to go. I am not even going to think of the last one until tomorrow. I am not too worried about it, it is just that my brain is fried tonight.

The big news in Michigan Football continues to be the Coach search. Tonight it is reported that Rich Rodreiguez (sp?) met with UofM officials today. He is the Coach at West Virginia University, not a bad pick. He has a $4 million dollar buy out if he leaves WVU before August 2008. That is pretty hefty. Earlier this year Michigan hired the WVU basketball coach, so that would be interesting if we take their football coach now too. I have my doubts and the worst part of it all, is if it is then reported that he turns us down. Another rejection story is not something that I am up for right now.

I am watching AppState win the national championship for the 3rd year in a row. I think that makes the loss to them sting a little less. (ok, so nothing can do that, but at least they are a good team) It is really interesting that the team they are playing have nearly identical colors to Michigan AND they have winged helmets, just like Michigan. I think that is funny.

That might bring you all up to date for today. I am going to be so relieved after I finish that last paper tomorrow. It is not due until Monday, but I want it to be over after tomorrow. :o) And yes, not a good idea to write a paper in one day, but I promise you, this is a fluff paper that the prof is not even going to read. :o) Peace.


A few butterflies floating around in my tummy as I finish this theory paper. It is due tonight. Tomorrow I will churn out the last paper (the easiest of them all). Sunday I have a gathering to attend. Monday I have a few meetings, including lunch with the dean of the graduate school. I suppose I should think of what I wish to share with her. I have done zero Christmas shopping and probably won't until next weekend. (oh the joy). I really don't like the thought of going to TR for 2 weeks, however, I believe that is going to be necessary for a variety of reasons. For now though, I keep shaking my hands, trying to get the nerves calmed down. I am not sure if I am excited to have it over, or if I am nervous........I am enjoying writing this paper because it is directly related to my research. It must be the excitement! Big is off work today, so maybe I will get lucky and get to do something fun today too! We shall see. Woot! I am almost finished people!! Peace.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

More Good News!

Ok, so I was asked to re-write a paper. This morning I had to meet with that prof to review what her expectations were. As I shared below, that went fairly well for me. Just a few minutes ago, she called me to say that she reviewed my grades and after our discussion, she no longer feels that I need to re-write the paper. WOOT!!!!!!! This is the paper that was going to loom over me for the rest of December. I am writing 2 papers this weekend and by Monday morning....I get to officially, fully, 100% be on break from school for 3 weeks! YES! WOOT! Ok, back to the paper...LOL Peace.


I hate to post on top of the poem, but I feel very energized. The last few days I have done much to even out the keel, right the ship, smooth the sails, whatever. Tapping into what I know to be my own strengths is with out question the best direction for me to steer. Ok, so I go meet with the profs and I was able to assist them in seeing that I actually have learned a multitude of things in their classes. That alone felt good that I could "talk" academia to them. I was driving home laughing and thinking.....what a glorious opportunity I have before me! Seriously. How often does one crash to the bottom? For me that totals a small number. Sure we all have our moments, but to really crash like I did, that doesn't happen very frequently. The opportunity to rise above that and become and even better person is such a great opportunity! I may have lost a friend or two, I may have left a few impressions that are incorrect, nevertheless, Katie is back at the helm. Watch out! The poem is very fitting, that fucking hammer hurt like hell, but the jewel it helped to create is really something mighty special. With that, I am off to write like a doctoral student. I have a paper due tomorrow night and one on Monday morning. The last one I have the rest of the month to get it finished, so I am likely to take a little time off and head out into A2 for a bit of fun before I tackle that one. Peace.

Happy Thoughts

I took a moment last night to read some of Mark Nepo. I really enjoy how some people have an ability to say things in poems or simple writings that speak what my soul wants to say. I will share one with you, although there are many that I would love to share with you, but I think one might be enough for today :o) Peace.

Fighting the Instrument – Mark Nepo
Often the instruments of change

are not kind or just

and the hardest openness

of all might be

to embrace the change

while not wasting your heart

fighting the instrument.
The storm is not as important

as the path it opens.

The mistreatment in one life

never as crucial as the clearing

it makes in your heart.
This is very difficult to accept.

The hammer or cruel one

is always short-lived

compared to the jewel

in the center of the stone.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007


Back "home" in A2. I have a feeling my melt down is costing me a little more than I anticipated it would cost me. Life lessons are good though, they bring new doors that one never thought would be there. It is all good. Time to focus on those lessons and be sure that I take away as much as I can from them.

I have a meeting with 2 professors tomorrow (the 2 that I needed to redo papers for) No doubt there will be more lessons learned tomorrow. is all good :o) Peace.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Lessons from a woman who fell to earth (ouch!)

[Disclaimer: Time for another round of thoughtful introspection, enter at your own risk]

My melt down last week has led me to introspection on a new level. In my quest to identify what this has taught me, so that I may incorporate it into my life, I have discovered a few things about myself. As always, it seems to help if I type these discoveries out.

First, I love to learn. (Thus the fact that I am in doctoral school). However, I am shallow in this desire to learn. I would rather read US World News and be abreast of many topics, then to read say, MacWorld about a single topic on Mac computers (which I also subscribe to, but rarely read). My personality desires information and lots of it, but not in depth. At some point in my reading the numerous textbooks and articles assigned for my classes I become bored, my thought process is, “OK, that is enough of that. Next. This trait is a detriment to graduate school. Of course only if I allow it be. So now, when I reach the moment of boredom, I need to tell myself to go farther. Sounds simple, we shall see how simple it becomes. I also need to behave like a student. Something as simple as going to the library to study, might be an option.

Secondly, I have mentioned that I avoid connecting with people. It is almost like I am flying under the radar, trying to not be noticed. Invisible. Why would this be? I think that I wanted to get my “life” established and then add the friends. Almost as if who I am was not established. What a load of crap! That is going to change ASAP. It would be slightly easier to change if I had lots of extra cash lying around and could afford to go out. That of course is a marginal excuse as well, since there are a plethora of things that cost minimal to nothing to do in A2.

Thirdly, I have gone from being an expert in my field to being a novice again. This is quite an adjustment. Certainly a place I have been at many times in my life. I thought (incorrectly) that I could use my expert experience to assist me in this educational process. Not so fast, my experience is valuable, no doubt, nevertheless, (exactly how many comma’s may one use in a single sentence? ROFL) nevertheless, for educational purposes (at least in nursing school) experience is not a valued commodity. The expectation is that I regurgitate textbook information, not personal experience. I am rather surprised by this, as one would think that at this level of education, my opinion, backed up with research, would be what they are looking for. I suppose that doesn’t happen this early into the program. This of course takes us back to the first item on the list and that is reading past my boredom so that I can speak to the topic from the textbook versus my own experience.

Lastly, (although I have a feeling that I will be learning even more over the course of this program) Failure is a strong teacher. Now, by all accounts I did not even come close to failing this term. I had two not so great papers at the end, after many good papers. I am taking a guess that my GPA after the end of the first term will average at least a 3.5, so lets be clear on one thing, I did not “fail” at this. My perception of what I did is what failed me. The total melt down, my entire emotional state the last week, seems like a failure to me. “I should be stronger than that” Ok, even if that is true (humor me) so what? OH WELL, freaking out about it is not going to change it, saying “oh well”, forgiving myself for not being perfect, that just might assist me far more than pissing and moaning and feeling sorry for myself ever will.

I do have to say, that after coming back to my old job today felt pretty damn good. I was the expert again and had all of the answers. Damn that felt good. I get to do it again tomorrow too! One of the things that one of my professors said to me the last day of class was “Your background is hospice, that is “fluff”, this (graduate school at the school of nursing) is not fluff. This statement of course blind sided me for a moment, but only for a split second, as I felt this strength in me rise up and thought “is that what they think? They think I am fluff? Now it is time to prove to them that I am indeed not fluff. First and foremost death is not fluff (although if you remember, just this week I called a class on death and dying a fluff class, ROFL!) but my experience is in managing hospice…this includes firing people, managing accounts receivable, monitoring over 8000 pages of federal regulations, etc, etc, etc. That my friends is not fluff. Her comment is exactly the type of thing that will push me beyond my limits (which is probably exactly what the intention was for her to say that) but I will be showing them that Katie is not fluff. Count on it.

Ok, I think I expressed the main ideas that I have learned this first term of doctoral school. Not too bad for 14 weeks of my time and about $15,000 bucks, oh, and don’t forget a piece of my sanity! :o)

This is no longer home.

What do I call it now? How about a Frat house? Good God, messy and girls here until all hours of the morning. No beer, but then it is the middle of the week. *rolls eyes* I already want to go back to A2.....LOL. The kids might need to come visit ME in the future. work, I will have something of more substance for your enjoyment later.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Home again!

Home as in the "old" home. I came home tonight to spend a little time with the kiddies and to get some work done. I am only going to be here for 2 days and then I need to get back to A2 by Thursday morning for a meeting with a prof. I just needed a bit of cash (thus the 2 days of work) and I missed the kids! They all had called me over the weekend to say they missed me, so that made me miss them more of course...HA! Now however, I am in the midst of a disaster zone (that I fully expected) So I am off to do a few things around here! Peace!

PS, lots of introspective thinking accomplished today, expect a post on it soon, just no time today for it! (I bet you are relieved!)

Enough already.

This nausea is not fun. I can not remember exactly when it began. It has been weeks. I have lost at least 10 pounds (not complaining about that) but the point here is that, it really has been going on for too long. I try to ignore it most days. Some days are worse than others (the days that I actually toss my cookies) but even the days that are not that bad, it is a lingering that one feels. I try to think of what my tummy might accept as food, most often I down a few bites and my stomach says "not so fast, I don't want that!" So I get a few bites in, but rarely finish anything. Anything that I do eat, comes out much quicker than it is suppose to from the other end, which is another annoyance that I won't go into detail about. Aside from that, it is the constant nagging that is there that wears on me, that constant feeling of uneasiness. Today I wake up and it is there, and I also have actual pain in my stomach. I am starting to wonder if it isn't an ulcer (which would really piss me off..LOL). I am sure the tequila the other night didn't do much to help the situation, but it sure was fun! I am feeling OK about the papers left to do, I don't feel as stressed out about that. I suppose that I am hoping for relief and it doesn't seem to be there, it causes me to wonder if there isn't something more to the symptoms. I will give it this week, and if it remains the same, I will go to the doctor. Peace.

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Continuing the process.....

Working on a redo of a paper that I need to take to my professor tomorrow. I am nearly finished and will be grateful to have one more thing off the plate. I of course have 3 more on there. This too shall pass. Once I have this paper in the can, I do want to sit down and work on the plan of creating my Life as Katie. At 46 years old, one doesn't think that creating a life is a necessary task. After all, shouldn't I have one by now? HA! I think it is rather exciting to be able to design a life of my dreams. I do have all the ingredients, I simply need to have my behavior follow suit. That isn't so difficult. It is about behavior, do the behavior even if I don't "feel" like it, and the pieces will fall into place. Sounds easy, and I am sure it is easier said than done. I have faced more difficult tasks, and I am sure I will face even more difficult ones, it really is about living each moment, enjoying each moment and not being so hard on one's self for not being perfect at each moment. Ok, back to the "behavior" of being a student. Peace.

Good Times!

Good times with good friends! The Scotts who nearly shunned me for the Food Network (ok, not really but it sounds good......although I am not totally convinced, if I didn't have cable, who knows what might have transpired!!! hee hee) All in all, it was a fabulous evening to remember. Yes we nearly finished a bottle of Tequila however, we drank it over a long enough period that we just had an extended buzz all night. They brought the most decadent dessert ever, of which I will be eating for days to come!! Sometimes one needs to just kick back and relax and enjoy the company of good friends, a little booze, a little chocolate and all is well with the world. Today is back to the grind though and getting a paper finished before tomorrow. At least I have chocolate to get me through it. :o) Thanks Scott and Scott for taking the time to come over and share good times with me, you both ROCK!

Saturday, December 08, 2007


I have neglected a few things around here. That probably sounds worse than it really is. It is just me here, so how messy can it get? Particularly when I am so anal that I pretty much keep everything in it's place. I have not however dusted, swept, etc for a couple of weeks now, so that is what I am doing today. I will run to the laundromat and pick up a few groceries. I also seriously need to balance the checkbook and send off a few bills. Sometimes just cleaning and organizing things can bring a different mind set. Instead of 2 papers remaining to close out the semester, I now have 4. Two are re-works that profs requested. (Thus my little melt down on Thursday). I learned more about myself this semester than anything else. Unfortunately they don't grade by how much one learns about themselves ;o) My sincere apologies for the obvious roller coaster of emotions that I have plastered all over here. I am in the rebuilding stage and it will all be just fine. I promise. My plans for tonight might get changed. Scott and Scott had forgotten about something that is important for them. I certainly understand how things like that happen. Hopefully if that is the case, we can schedule something soon! Ok, I suppose I should get back to the tasks at hand, getting those finished should open up a space to just breath a little. not for long of course, but soon, there can be a collective sigh of relief before it all starts up again. I am changing my class schedule for the Winter term. I am scheduled for 12 credits (4 classes) and they are all (of course) heavy work loads. I am going to drop one of them, and schedule for a fluff class on death and dying. The prof keeps emailing me, asking me to take it, promising the work load is very little, all the work is done IN class which meets once a week. I think it is possible I could use a little lighter class and it will count towards my program plan, so....ok....I am to mop the kitchen floor. Peace.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

1 Days and 3 weeks.......

Well, life is just a fucking bowl of cherries! Let's just say, after tomorrow, I am not off for 3 weeks. Oh, Hell to the No on that one. If I focus I could have 2 weeks off, it will more likely be 1 week. I am not certain, but I do believe that someone forgot to stop the roller coaster and let me off, it just keeps winding around, up then down, up then down. Could someone just stop the fucking thing and let me off? Please. Do you know that I am PAYING for this, I am actually paying money for this.....LMAO!!!!! Which is exactly why I won't get off the shitty ride, I will at least get my money's worth, even if it kills me. there is a thought!

Have no fear. I am just swinging by a thread from one end of the spectrum to the other and the good thing about a swinging pendulum, it has to come to the center eventually. Please pardon my swinging........I really will find the center again. I promise.

Margaritas Saturday night, Margaritas Saturday night.....say it with me, Margaritas Saturday night!!!!!! (I think tying one on could be very beneficial, at least I don't have to worry about Scott and Scott taking advantage of me in that state! (darn it, I could probably use that too...LMAO!!!) to fix a paper that is due tomorrow...........I don't need more work to complete over the holiday break than I have already. Peace.

Two Days!!!

Two days, and it is, for all intensive purposes-----------OVER! It is going to be a mad rush these two days, but when 5pm Friday rolls around, I am going to be singing! I still have some work to do this morning, along with what seems like a million other things, including a dish to pass for a party tonight (and I ran out of diet pepsi, this is a serious matter!) I need to run to the store, but before I go out I must 1) dry my hair, (tis a tad cold here in Michigan) 2) finish printing this presentation (which is in color, 5 pages and I must make 20 copies of each, so I need to know that I don't need more ink for my printer before I go out) 3) get dressed (I am ok going out naked, however the general public might not recover). Thus, a moment to come here and scream, TWO DAYS!!! TWO DAYS!!! (think of Julia Roberts in Pretty women, saying three hundred dollars!!!) Ok, obviously I am way punchy today and watched Pretty Woman last night. Move along. Nothing to see here.

TWO DAYS!!!!!!! :o) Peace.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007


I am up early to get started on this paper. I completed the Bibliography (trust me, that takes time!) My iPod is playing (I haven't had it on and I forgot how music eases my mind, and Roy, I really love that song that you sent me). Anyway, my mind is so full of other thoughts beyond this paper. So I suppose this is my disclaimer to what you are about to read, so if you don't wish to hear my inner thoughts, please do not proceed, if you are curious and wish to continue, please don't hold it against me! (LOL!) I just need to type out a few thoughts to get them out of my head, the rest of the day will go a little smoother.

I had a true melt down yesterday. Something no one ever really plans on having and when it comes it takes them by surprise. I was surprised and not so surprised, it has been coming, somewhere deep down, I felt it. Then ignored it. I never expected that quitting a job that I was very successful at (and paid me well), selling my house (that I raised my children in), moving to Ann Arbor and starting Doctoral school would be a transition that would loom over me as large as it has. I did expect an adjustment, no doubt, I don't think I realized just how life changing it is. Silly in a way, after all, everything that I knew as my life, being a mother, a boss, an artist, a home owner, an employee........every single thing that defined my life is now gone. Yes, I am still a mother (just in a much different capacity than before). My comfort before was melting glass and I could not move my studio here and have not melted glass since I moved, that is really significant!! Consider even that I left my home furnishings with my children, so all of the things that fill my apartment are new to me, down to the dishes and towels. I don't think we realize how the simple every day things in our lives bring us comfort. Familiarity has some value. I didn't think it would bother me (not that it bothers me, rather- it has affected me) to the degree that it has, because I love change. I really do, when I was a young girl I rearranged the furniture in my bedroom on a monthly basis. I love change. This was too much change. I am tired of the nausea and diarrhea, I am tired of the physical symptoms that have plagued me (I could use a few more weeks of no appetite though, ha!) Before any of my friends read this and say "Why didn't you call?" Having been single for almost 20 years now (let's not count the 6 years of "D", we all know I was alone those 6 years as well !) has created a mighty fiercely independent woman, right or wrong, good or bad, it just is that way. I do know that I could have reached out to a number of people that would have been more than happy to comfort me. (And I do have to thank Roy for being a very good friend to me this past week, he has listened to a lot of it, just not the worst of it) I really am not a fan of breaking down in front of people, although I would not blink at any of my friends needing me in the same way. I actually don't think that is a very great quality to not reach out to others, and I will work on it. So now, it is what it is. I am a 46 year old single woman doing something that everything in my soul wanted to do, I am in a very cool town, going to a prestigious might just be time to enjoy that! What other time in life could be this good? Seriously, I am young enough, old enough and smart enough. So that is where my mind is at the moment. What do I want my life to look like? Now that it is no longer what it was, what should it be now? How long am I going to try to live as an invisible person, closing down to everyone? I have 3 weeks between terms, that will provide some time for me to figure out just what I want this life to look like and to start living it! I am not sure why people have to hit bottom before they pull up their boot straps and proceed, it seems foolish to me, yet that is basically what I allowed to happen. I can forgive myself for that and move on now. Ok, time to finish that paper so I can move on from that too! If you read this, well, what can I say, thank you for having enough interest to read it, hopefully my experience and thoughts will help you in some small way. Peace.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007


I decided to give myself an evening of rest. The panic today was intense. I am not a fan of the physical symptoms of anxiety. I will spare you the details. Thus, a break. I am not even reading the paper, just forgetting it. I did get a good cry out of all of it. Which I rarely do, and I probably should cry a few more tears just to get it out, that will have to wait for the weekend. Now it is just time to get through this week. I find it amazing actually, that the logical side of my brain can see how it all makes sense, the emotional parts of me seem to say "who cares if I shouldn't feel that way, I am going to feel that way anyways". I did not realize just how much the whole transition of my life this year would affect me. I am fairly sure that my behavior and actions the last few months can be broken down to reveal that I didn't make a smooth transition. Of course I knew that it would not be smooth, I really had thought that I have lived through worse, so what is the big deal?! Well, it was a big deal and I ignored it. We all know what ignoring things will do to us. So, deep you know what, I am 3 days away from finishing my first semester in the doctoral program at the University of Michigan with at least a 3.5. I am fairly sure that is something to be proud of. :o) Another good thought.........Saturday night I get to enjoy the company of 2 wonderful friends, that will be a nice way to celebrate the end!. (Scott and Scott, no backing out now!!!) For tonight though........breathe, smile, and Oh yeah, Baileys and hot cocoa (I put the baileys first because it is more baileys than hot cocoa :P Well, I suppose that is enough whine for one evening. This too shall pass. Peace.

Xanax anyone?

Panic has set in. FUCK!!!!! The last week is always that scramble to get things done, figure out that you forgot something and frantically try to get it all done. The good is almost over..........the bad news.........I might not survive it....LMAO!!!!! time to bore you with my life........must. work. Peace!!!

Monday, December 03, 2007

The End.

Nearly. I don't have an "oh the joy" feeling yet. Probably because I still have so much to do before it is actually the end of the term. The end of this week is going to be nuts. However I do have a "date" with my friend Scott on Saturday, so I do have something fun to look forward to. One day at a time though and by the time I count to 5, there will be some relief. Although, next week I do have 2 papers to finish to make it a final wrap.

Michigan has won a bid to a bowl game on January 1st. This is a 2nd tier bowl game, so actually it is a nod of approval towards Michigan. Our opponent is the Florida Gators. This sends a little shiver down my spine remembering how they completely dismantled OSU last year. I am not a fan of their Coach (Urban Meyer) and their QB is slightly overrated. I would love nothing more than to stuff those gators and hang them on the wall. It will be a challenge. If we have Hart and Henne healthy, we do have a chance.....IF we pull out a new play book and do something besides run......."to the left, to the left, punt." (wow, that was almost mean to say about my own team....LOL) The coaching search has taken a toll. It really has been a roller coaster ride. I am glad that Les Miles is not coming to A2, I guess I have never been a fan of following the money, vs following my heart. He, took the money, pissed on Michigan and ran from his hearts desire. I suppose that is not fair for me to say what his hearts desire was or is, but he made it well known that Michigan was his dream job, so that is why I assume that.

Ok, back to work for me. I do hope that you all are having a great start to your week!! Peace.

Sunday, December 02, 2007

My prediction.......

Last night I predicted that LSU would play OSU for the National championship appears that I will be correct. In the polls that count LSU and OSU are #1 and #2. The BCS computers still need to determine the final outcome, but it seems a done deal. I have been rudely commented on for the fact that I would root for OSU in this game. The fact of the matter is, the Big Ten has not looked in the last few years and the SEC thinks that they are all that and a glass of Kool-Aid. So, although I am NOT in anyway shape or form a Bucks fan.......I WILL root for them in this game so that the Big Ten can put a feather in their cap and wash the SEC Kool-Aid down the drain.

Yeah.....a procrastination loop post......bite me.

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Oh the Joy

It is looking very seriously like tOSU will be playing in the National Championship game. (WVU just lost) All I have to say is (I am happy for you Roy) and tOSU better win it!

A rather sucky night here. I am hammering out this flippin paper one sentence at a time (and by all rights, this thing should be in the can by now) I am sitting here alone, it is sleeting and snowing outside.....Oh the Joy!

I think I am struggling with this paper because it is about a tough situation I had to deal with when I was the director. This paper is on Human Resources in Healthcare with a focus on a healthy workplace. The situation was very sad and very tough to deal at least I have identified the issue, now maybe I can write in paragraphs rather than sentences....HA!


Drama, Drama, Drama! The day started with ESPN reporting that Les Miles was coming to Michigan. Woot! (sort of) Then the shit pretty much hit the fan. I am not going to recount what has transpired. I will say however that CBS and ESPN should both be ashamed of themselves after their behavior today, as should Les Miles. I was never sold on him, and after today, I do not want him at Michigan. I am sitting here cheering for Tennessee, just out of shear spite. LOL. Of course if LSU loses, it will be blamed on Michigan. Meh. More than enough drama for me.

I am having a terrible time concentrating today. So much to do, so little brain power to do it.

I wish I had more to report to you and the truth is, this post is simply procrastination ............................

Friday, November 30, 2007

Same Shit.......

Different Day. Nothing new to report, just working on the next to the last round of homework, kicking back a little. Trying to NOT read any of the 3 new books I bought while at the bookstore yesterday ;o) There will be no absolute relief about the coaching situation until at least Sunday, however my guess is sometime next week. (just in case you were coming here to find out the latest, and that was just said with tongue in cheek) I have been having quite the animated conversation with a new OSU friend I made recently and that has been great fun! (Thanks Roy for making my week just a little more interesting!)

Ok, that about does it.

PS..... Scott, I didn't hear back from you last night, so I will be calling you, hopefully that means margaritas for me soon :o)

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Mark Nepo

I went to a book reading at Crazy Wisdom Bookstore tonight. Mark Nepo was the author. It was tremendous. He is inspiring to say the least. (I added his website to my Delicious list over to the left of my blog (it probably won't show up until Friday) Anyway............I need to contact my friend Paul and possible Mark as well.....I had this inspiration in regards to my research question and I think they could help me.

It was almost surreal as I sat I am at a book reading in Ann Arbor......I was smiling as I thought of this, my kids call me a hippie.......I am starting to live up to it aren't I? LOL. I loved it though, he was so incredible to listen to.

The football season has some excitement left in it with the coaches search. By all appearances it looks like it will be Les Miles who comes to Ann Arbor. We may find out early next week if this is true or not. I am not convinced, but we could do worse. As I have said before, he bleeds Maize and Blue and that is a nice quality to have in a Head Coach of Michigan Football.

I am not making great progress on my procrastination loop is in full does one exit the loop do you suppose? I really need to do that.

There is your update......not much to report really..........hoping you area all having a splendid week! Peace.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Learn something new every day!

Ok, so I frequent a college football blog. It is fun to talk about football with people who know football. As you might expect most of the readers are of the male species and this blog happens to use what they call "healing pics" of young college girls dressed very scantily. Now, I get that this is a mostly male site and I don't say too much. Today they posted a pic of a girl that was actually nude on top, only an artist had painted a tiger on her upper body. It was a beautiful work of art. The blogger gave credit for the photo to another blog site and the name of that blog site is POON SEC . This site is all pics of college girls supporting their sports teams.....(SEC is a college football conference in the south). So I innocently ask, believing that I would be correct, if Poon is a modern term for Porn. I had a very nice man email me the answer, and it was in a rather vague manner, so I incorrectly assumed at that point that it meant breasts. I then asked my friend Roy, who happens to live in the south and he informed me of the real meaning.....then the posters graciously answered my question on the blog with this:

1. Literally, vagina (see poontang).
2. A woman's genetalia. stems from the word "pudenda", which is actually in the dictionary.
3. Or the MAO version...."Straight up p@*sy homie." A bit crass and yet strangely hilarious.

I laughed so hard I almost wet myself...LOL. I knew that coming to Michigan for my graduate work was going to be a learning experience, I simply had no clue just how much of one it was going to be! Too funny!

10 more days......

Can you feel it? It is so close it is nearly going to bite me in the ass! 10 days left of this term. I can not tell you how ecstatic this thought makes me. Of course there is much work to be accomplished between now and then, but for this moment....this one moment, I am going to enjoy this millisecond between assignments and take a deep breath.

The other good news is that by all appearances Ferentz is not the next head coach of Michigan. I suppose it is a possibility.....but it seems less likely now. That would go a long way in easing my mind if that possibility was taken off the table officially. The rumor mill is just going to buzz until the official announcement is made, so I am trying to not get too sucked into that.

A work filled rest of the week and weekend. Next week will be insane as it is the last week of classes (for me, I believe that final exams are the following week, and none of my classes have that, I suppose the final papers and projects are considered final exams in graduate school).....I also have a presentation in the middle of my final week over in that will be an added "OH SHIT" day for me......but all in all, it will come and it will go just as everything else in life and I will once again survive it all. Out of my 4 classes, I will be getting one 4.0, the rest of the classes......not so much. I am likely to get a 3.5 in 2 of the remaining 3 and a possible 3.0 (GOD FORBID) in the remaining class. I am accustomed to 4.0's.....however I will take what I can get this was one hell of a start let me tell you. The fact that my stipend didn't cover me for the entire semester makes this last month a little bit more difficult, but I will put some hours in and make a little cash to pull it all off. I will be more relieved when my funding arrives for the Winter term and I have a plan on how to handle that a little better so that it will last until May.

Here is to hoping you have a spectacular day. Peace.

ps...Scott.....Margaritas soon?

Tuesday, November 27, 2007


Suck. I nearly jumped off a cliff last night at the thought of Ferentz becoming our new head coach, and the fact of the matter is, it was all rumor. I really have to laugh at it all......I was pathetic, over what? A football team? Give me a fucking break! (F-bomb for drama, bite me) When one really weighs the importance of all things in life.....just how important is college football? Yeah. My point. So, although I am passionate about it, there are certainly other things in my life that weigh far more important. These are the things that need my attention, far more than a search for a football coach that I have ZERO say in. Seriously, I have no control over is almost funny when you look at it. Anyway.......I am nearly finished with these 3 papers...........oh the joy. This of course means that I can watch the finals of Dancing with the Stars without my laptop and a pile of books and articles on my lap. Sounds good to me! Peace.
[ed. note: I will have my laptop, to check on rumors of course ;o)]

Monday, November 26, 2007


Torture and pain is what these papers are for me right now. By this time tomorrow night, these 3 will be done (for better or worse) and I can start focusing on the last 4. To add to my pain and torture the rumor mill is THICK with the thought that Kirk Ferentz from Iowa will be our next head coach. This will make Michigan the laughing stock of America, I kid you not! His team (Iowa, a Big Ten team) just lost to Western Michigan University....(a MAC team, even less than the team we lost to at the beginning of the season) I am sick that this could even potentially be true. I just thought I would share my pain with you, aren't you glad I shared?

Sunday, November 25, 2007


I put one paper in the can (ok, so it needs an ending paragraph, bite me) and I am working away on another one. Trust me when I tell you that it is painful. I need to get this at least to some stage of finished before I hit the hay tonight because the third paper (these 3 are due by Tuesday night) is going to be super painful and I will need 2 days for it. The trouble with the paper that I am working on now, is it is 10 pages of bullshit. I say that because the prof isn't even going to read it. You heard me. But can this smart chick write 10 pages of bullshit? Oh hell no. I must force myself to write 10 pages of something worthy of being read, even though it will not be. *sigh* Ok.....back to the grind.......

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Paper Churn

I am about to become a paper churn.....pure focus.......I have many assignments to accomplish, plus a few policies to write......this could get dicey nevertheless, I am up for it.

LSU lost last night. This could be a good thing for Michigan, IF we really want Les Miles as our coach. In losing last night LSU fell out of the top spot and MOST likely will not play for the National Championship on January 7th. This means the regular season will be over for them after next Saturday and Michigan could begin seeking out Les Miles for the coaching job they have open much sooner than waiting until after January 7th. The problem of course is that I am not sure that Les Miles is the man for the job. Many hope that he becomes our next coach. I waiver. He bleeds Blue and Maize and that is attractive to me. I want someone that loves Michigan and that wants to stay here, not use it as a stepping ladder to some other dream job. However, I truly am not sold on him as a coach. It won't be long and we will discover what the future has to hold. to crank up the paper churn......focus, focus, focus!!!

Friday, November 23, 2007


Today is a day to make some cash. I am writing a policy for the place I consult for (on billing, oh the joy) This of course I can do from my apartment. Today I need to get a few more pieces of information and then work on some reports that I can not do from home regarding a few other things that I am doing for them. Then, this evening I will be traveling back to A2. I made that decision this morning since I have LOTS of work to do over the weekend on homework, I want to get a start on it first thing in the morning tomorrow, rather than traveling in the morning. I didn't get the entire house clean, but then I figured that I would be here often enough in December to get it cleaned up good, I just felt super yukky (a new medical term ;o) yesterday, so I didn't push it. I will come home at lunch however and fold the laundry that I washed. If I don't it won't move from the pile in the dining room until I return, and well by then I will just have to wash it again, since they will have walked all over it and tossed in some dirty clothes for good measure (I am not a fan of smelling to determine if it is clean or dirty)

I am still not feeing great. I did start a new medication (this yukky thing started before that) and I am sure that the medication is making it worse, I won't have to take it for long, and I just need to be sure that I take it with food in my stomach BEFORE I take it, otherwise, it is major stomach pain. Even with doing that, I have an upset stomach until it passes through. Since I did confess to you all that I went back to smoking (shhhhhhhhhh) I am taking Chantix to once again quit. I can not afford it, plus it will kill me sooner, so I know I need to not drag this out and just quit. I give the Chantix a few days then go cold turkey, it takes 3 days for the nicotine to get out of the blood and the Chantix works on the brain connection. It actually does pretty well. There are 3 miserable days, but not as bad as if I was totally cold turkey. The research proves (and I disproved it) that those who quite cold turkey are more successful in the long run at quitting. Thus the cold turkey part.....which I did last time and honestly it is miserable enough that you think "I will never smoke again, because I would have to quit again and that is so fucking miserable that I can't even imagine having to do it agian......then you start graduate school and realize that is far more miserable and smoking might make it easier.....LMAO! Ok....enough about that nasty habit.....after this weekend it will be history once again. Working out also helps, so that is what I will be turning to (rather than food).

Well.....time to get beautiful and make some cash.......peace...............:o)

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Home Sweet.......

NASTY Home! UGH!!!!!!! I think the kids planned the fact that I would be home for Thanksgiving and I swear I nearly had dry heaves cleaning the kitchen.....They think that they are doing something good by filling up the bowls and pans with water to "soak" only they have been "soaking" for so long that it is moldy water.....yeah.....GROSS!!!! Next time I am staying at my mothers! (ok, that actually might be more tortureous.....damn) Maybe I need to NOT clean when I come home.....hmmm....ok, that won't work either......College kids......this is normal right? OYE! You may remember that I wasn't feeling well and was going to go to the doctor, then yesterday I was feeling ok, so I skipped the doctor......and today, I am back to feeling poorly again. I can't quite put my finger on it, just an overall crappy feeling.....super tired. I don't get colds or the flu and when/if I do it is usually mild, so I am wondering if this isn't just a mild version of the flu. Anyway....I started the laundry, cleaned the kitchen and fixed up some dinner for the I am resting and will clean the rest of the house in the morning. (doesn't it make you nuts when I put my to do list on here....geeesshhh!!!)

At any rate.........just a quick note to let you know I arrived here safely and I should survive the filth ;o)

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

More Confessions......

Ok, so I confessed to watching Oprah today and the Bachelor last night. (neither of which I plan to repeat anytime soon) My real secret is Dancing with Stars. Yes in deed, I started watching this show by accident earlier this season and I am addicted! (Does this make me an old lady?????) It is just cool to watch. I don't plan my schedule around it, however the nights I have missed it, I do check the news the next day to see who was eliminated. I would LOVE to dance like they do. I even have thought it might be fun to look for a dance class. Working out would be a hell of a lot more fun! Hmmm......I really do need to get out and meet people in Ann Arbor, this might not be a bad idea. I wonder if guys who like football would be at a dance class........ROFLMAO! That would so be my luck, meet some guy at a dance class and he would hate football! Well, as long as he could let me have my football Saturdays (it is only 10 weeks a year) I could make it well worth his time ;o) Well......I think men are the last thing I should be thinking about right now......which is what I usually say and might explain why I am single......

I am heading home tomorrow after a hair cut. I have a policy to write for a consulting job and turkey to eat with my family. I will be back in A2 over the weekend to dig into these papers that are due! ONLY 2 weeks left to this term! HOLY SHIT! I shouldn't be watching Dancing with the Stars, I should be writing papers.....crap!

Favorite Things

How lucky are the audience members of Oprah's Favorite things show??? MY GOD! These incredible things that are Oprah's favorite things and the audience members each get every single thing! That is incredible! I would love to be one of those audience members!!! I don't watch much television and rarely watch Oprah, but it just happened to be on that channel when I flipped it on. I also watched the finale last night for the Bachelor (a show I would never be caught dead watching) but somehow I got dragged into it. He didn't pick either girl! I thought that was pretty cool. As neither of them seemed like they were good enough (in my opinion). It was slightly interesting, however I have NO plans to watch it in the future. I would, however consider getting a ticket to one of Oprah's favorite things show in the future ;o)

One of my favorite things is California Kitchen Pizza, the tomato pizza, yummy, which is what is cooking in my oven as I type this. Once I eat I will try to yank my head out of the sand and do some of this homework that is waiting for my attention. I think that is the best way to describe what I find myself doing. I bury my head in the sand out of fear. It is not conscious fear, but something that underlies waiting to trip me up. I had a vision of what my life would be like, moving to Ann Arbor and for reasons that I haven't quite figure out, I have avoided bringing this vision to fruition. I am working on being conscious of this and taking the steps to accomplish my vision. This might sound cryptic, it really isn't, it just is difficult to explain, so without me getting too philosophical that is it in a nutshell. Peace.

Monday, November 19, 2007

It is Official

Lloyd Carr is retiring as the Head Coach of Michigan Football. Depending on who you talk to this is a good thing. It also is a huge loss to this program. If nothing else, the fact that he "gets" that these are simply young men playing ball for their school, is something that will truly be missed. College Football has become a business, a BIG business and it is a little sad. Now, as a Michigan Football fan, I also have good thoughts about this because it means new blood, an infusion that is a little over due. All the talk around A2 right now is about Les Miles. It is even rumored that his wife bought a house here. (that is TOTAL rumor and I have ZERO first hand information, so PLEASE do not think this is accurate) . I have mixed feelings about Miles being the next coach. I have heard about a few shady things with this guy and I would hope that they are not true. Getting Miles means we sit and wait and what is that going to do for recruiting? Not much. So, anyone's guess is as good as mine and at this point, I am willing to wait and see. (As if I have a choice in that matter!!! HA!)
Thanksgiving week, I have lots of meetings this week and lots of papers that I need to get busy on. I will be going home to see the kidlets and my parents, but it will be a short visit, as I have so much to accomplish before the end of the term. I continue to not feel 100% and will go to see the doctor tomorrow. I think that might be enough update for one day. I hope that you are all having a wonderful start to your week!! Peace.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Ruh Roh.......

I have that introspective feeling, like I am going to type out some heart felt post about my life. I am sure that the disappointment of Michigan playing poorly lingers some. I know that the nightmare roommate situation also hangs over me to a large degree, although since she has moved out, I do have some relief from that. I am not feeling 100% healthy and I can't quite put my finger on what it is that I am feeling, maybe just run down. It is rather disconcerting to feel not completely healthy and realize that if I died here, I would not be found for a LONG time. (no worries, I am not planning on dying). I am planning to take it rather easy today. (although I am in the midst of cleaning the apartment) I will organize the work that remains for the last 3 weeks of the term (final papers, lots of work) and simply rest today. Probably do some of the reading that is required for me to complete the papers, put my feet up and just chill out. I do have a dentist appointment this week and I am going to make a doctor's appointment as well. I also will be contacting MFit to get started back at the gym, now that it is cold, walking outside will be difficult to get motivated for. I also need to make some cash. I know that the winter term is going to MUCH more labor intensive than this term was, so looking for a job locally would be difficult. I need to evaluate that situation as well.....I don't think I will make it on the stipend for the winter term, so a job may be required if my time limits me in consulting. I am very indecisive on this point. Ok, I tried not to be too philosophical this morning and I am very sure this was incredibly boring to read, my apologies. Here is to a beautiful day for each of you....the sun is out here.........I am going to finish cleaning and then put my feet up and rest. Peace.

Saturday, November 17, 2007


Really. Sad. That was the worst game they have played. Holy Cow. On top of Michigan forgetting to even show up for the game (the offense anyway, the defense actually had a decent game) I had this little brat sitting in front of me who decided that my legs were a nice back rest and when he wasn't leaning back to rest on my legs, he was elbowing my shins.....I was so annoyed. I would MOVE my legs and he would lean back farther!!! Seriously annoying, on top of my seriously annoyed demeanor because of all of the things that I thought could happen today, the offense playing like a pack of high school kids was not one of the options I had dreamed up. I can't believe that I am even saying this, but they should have left Mallett in, he was doing better than Henne. Anyway....its over.......and now it shall be interesting to see how the entire season ends up. Some crappy bowl, if we are lucky and God help us, a new coach. Go Blue!

GO BLUE!!!!!

Let me hear your battle cry!!!!! Post it in the comments!!!! GO BLUE!!!!!! HAIL to MICHIGAN!!!!!

I will be heading out to the game in a little bit.........I want to be there when the gates open.........this is going to be a day to or lose!


Friday, November 16, 2007

Hail to the Victors ... Valiant

Hail to the Conquering Heros, Hail Hail To Michigan the leader and the best!

On the eve of THE game, I am so excited I can barely stand it. Tomorrow is the seniors last game at the Big House and most likely Carr's last game as head coach in the Big House. It is my first season as a "student", although I have been a life long fan. ESPN is holding Game Day in Ann Arbor and tomorrow, the Big Ten Championship is up for grabs, as is an appearance at the Rose Bowl. I desperately wish for our team to come out of the tunnel as the great team they are and kick the Buckeyes back to Columbus! I want to cheer that team as they walk back through the tunnel one last time, knowing that they are truly an inspiration to many Michigan fans. Henne, Hart and Long turned away from the NFL draft last year, to come back to play one last year, with the hopes of a National Championship, then September 1st arrived and Appy State rolled into town and that dream died. This team became the laughing stock of the entire country and then they did something that I will never forget....they held their head high, didn't say a word and went on to win 8 straight games. They never quit and one thing that I know for sure, they have not quit yet and they will run through that tunnel one last time with their heads held high and they won't quit until the last second runs out on the clock. I will be there, cheering them on every second, and win or lose, I will be saying Hail to the Victors valiant, Hail to the conquering heros, HAIL HAIL to Michigan the leader and the best! For those who stay, will be champions!

GO BLUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, November 15, 2007


Holy Cow it just started SNOWING here in A2! It doesn't look as if it will stick though.

The hospital called and I am a match for my father! Yeah! Now I need to do a few things to make this happen, and although I am a match blood wise, there are still many tests that need to be completed. So, again, this is still in the very beginning stages, I am excited to think that I may be able to help my father with this.

The roommate has moved out. My space is mine again. I don't have time to put all of my things back in place, but I will soon enough.

Right now.....I have major homework to worry about!!! I really wish to complete this today so I can enjoy the next 2 days ramping up for THE game of the year.....GO BLUE!!!!! Beat the Bucks!!!!!!!!!!! WWOHHOOO!!!!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Kidney anyone?

I spent the day with my father, jumping through the hoops of getting put on the national donor list for a kidney. I also had them take blood to see if I would be a match. It is a laproscopy surgery and only puts you down for 2 weeks at the most. If my blood is a match for his, then I would go through the entire screening process to be sure that I am healthy enough AND that I am not at risk for renal problems myself. The entire process would take months, making it next Spring, which would be good for my schedule. I am more than willing to do it for him. We were very impressed with the entire process, the staff and everyone that we came into contact with at the hospital. We had to go to different stops along the way, and each time that we stopped to look at a map, an employee walking by would stop and ask if we needed help. We never waited for anything, every test that we had to get, we arrived, gave our paper work and then his name was called. It was quite impressive.

On another note.......the roomate is moving out tomorrow. Shocked. Relieved. Slightly guilty feeling, but I do know I did the right thing.


Some neutral ground

We talked last night and came to a much better understanding. This will be liveable until she leaves. That is the good news.

Today, I get to spend the day at the "U" (The University of Michigan Hospital) with my father, as he attempts to get on the list for a Kidney (he is hoping that I am a match and will give him mine, which of course I would, but we will see about that at antoher time) Then we will go to dinner this evening. I have 2 assignments due yet this week, so I must take some of that with me and tomorrow I need to focus on that.

Friday is a huge pep rally at the Diag on Campus for the Ohio State game it is 3 hours long but it sounds like it would be so fun to experince that. The Diag is "outdoors" by my understanding, so I think an old lady wouldn't be as noticeable at this I am hoping to attend. Of course Saturday I will be at the game and I am very excited about that. I think it is going to be one hell of a game. This is Hart, Henne, and Long's last game at the big house, and if the rumors are true, it also is Carr's last game at the big also will prove to be emotional.

That pretty much fills you in on the latest here. Now I need to get ready, grab a protein bar and go pick up my father.......I am hoping you have a wonderful day!!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

I am what is wrong with America

Yes indeed, right here, this gal........the inability to show love and least that is what my roomate tells me. So as of last evening, I am the biggest loser in the world and well....I could go on, but what is the point, I may as well go and shoot myself and see if I can't help repair what is wrong with America. On second about I just do my homework, fix dinner for my father, and hope that December 8th comes sooner than it feels like it will get here. I know one thing for sure, I have the ability to get myself in situations that could drive even the most sane people to the brink of insanity. to see if I can find a self improvement book.......enjoy your day.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Chugging Along

Lots of homework (does that surprise anyone?) Today is the fateful day that I will tell the roomie to move on December 8th. I know, I said I was going to tell her on Saturday, but circumstances arose and well....I couldn't do it. I do have a letter in back up, if my panic seems to take over once again. Only 4 weeks left and I really must focus, and I must say, that is difficult to do with the present situation. I continue to schedule presentations for end of life care. My December is going to be filled with them! I am trying to schedule them in December so that when January hits, it won't be too busy with classes resuming. Ok, back to the grind here, my father is arriving tomorrow, I need to have the majority of this done by then. Peace out!

Sunday, November 11, 2007


Ok, so the panic with the roomate situation has made it difficult to focus, Today I am sitting here working on focusing and BOY OH BOY, I am a wee bit behind on things. I also realized that I had forgotten an assignment that was due on Thursday, SOOOO I emailed the assistant to the prof last night (she collects the assignments and gives them to the prof) and asked if I could send it to her late. She emailed back and said that I could. Whew, one bullet dodged. (I still may lose points for tardiness, but better than a complete zero!) ACK! so little miss catch up will be working like mad today and tomorrow to right the ship so to speak. My father and step mother and another couple that they are friends with are coming to visit me this week. Oh the joy of that! They aren't staying at my apartment though, so hopefully I won't be completely annoyed! (that really sounds awful, sorry). I meet with my prof advisor tomorrow regarding my program plan and I spent yesterday working on that. I am as ready for that meeting as I will ever be. Only 4 weeks left in this term, good gravy I am actually going to survive it! However it is doubtful that I will run the table with all 4.0s, but I will gladly settle for some 3.5's in the mix at this point. Anything less than that might cause me to jump off a cliff (joking).(sort of). HA! Ok......back to the helm, this ship needs a 180 degree turn about.......but it can be done! Peace!

Saturday, November 10, 2007

The agony of Defeat

Does it make me a poor sports fan to say that the loss to Wisky is less painful since OSU lost to Illinois?? I am a little ashamed of that fact, but hey, I don't feel as upset, so I guess I will accept it. Seriously people the Michigan Defense stayed home today. They did not show up for the game, plain and simple. That was the worst performance (ok, so the APPY State game was worse and since I didn't get to see the Oregan game, who knows, but I would guess that was ugly too) by our defense this year. Offense was gimpy and I can only guess they are saving Hart and Henne for tOSU next week. (which of course COULD possibly make sense, IF we win next week, but if you ask me that was not a smart move) And, if you want to discuss smart moves, lets talk about 4th and 20 on the FIVE yard line (OUR 5 yard line)......yeah, so they flippin GO for it.........GET REAL.....we turn it over on downs and let them get another TD on the next play........give me a flippin break.....that was simply moronic (probably not a word, but lets add it to the dictionary with a photo of Carr next to it) you have rant about Michigan Football......redemption can be theirs and all can be forgiven if they beat down tOSU next week........I am not holding my breath! (However I WILL be cheering loudly for 4 quarters until the bitter end) GO BLUE!

Friday, November 09, 2007

Little AND Big

I got a treat and was able to spend time with BOTH Little and Big! (Thanks Scott for coming with!) I stocked up on LUSH, had the most fabulous lunch at Macy's. The food there was 5 Star!! Wonderful comfort food in meatloaf and mashed potatoes! YUM and this sinful dessert. We also stopped at a gourment chocolate store so I could stock up on a few pieces of chocolate. So tonight I am going to take a LUSH bath with a LUSH face mask and other wonderful LUSH products after the bath! I will have a yummy piece of chocolate, some sort of alcoholic beverage and love every second. Then, I will tell my roomate that she has to move out by December 8th. If she was home, I might consider doing that first, but she isn't, so I will do it after. But I digress, I am always so honored that Scott and Scott will take the time for me and I always enjoy spending time with them. Thanks my friends!

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Little to the Rescue!

Scott is willing to risk it all to have lunch with this psycho freak tomorrow! I can not tell you just how much this comforts me. Just to know that I get to have a little fun, enjoy intelligent company and shop for a few LUSH me something wonderful to look forward to tomorrow! I will work hard to be sure he doesn't regret his decision. I seriously am wondering just exactly what is wrong with me. It is really disconcerting. Anyway......tomorrow I get to enjoy the company of Scott and that makes me feel good!

Valuable Lessons

I continue to learn valuable lessons. I realize that is life and since I am still living (thank goodness) I will continue to learn. I have not proven myself competent at setting my personal boundaries. I have the roomate situation, of which I need to do something more about. I have learned from this situation and will use some of what I have learned to keep my boundaries in another situation. My plan is to have the roomate situation resolved by December 7th. That is the last day of classes for this term, then she will need to do something different. The thing about this situation is in MANY ways, it is not about her. Yes, there are issues that make it more precarious, it really is more about my difficulty in sharing my space. This makes me feel horrible. I can not shake the panic feeling either. The combination is making me slightly nuts. I did have a hot cocoa with some baileys in it. May as well alcohol abuse to my list of coping skills. ;o) is my day to plan my program, so I need to get back to that. I just wanted to type some of these thoughts out loud. Here is to panic falling is a bit immobilizing. Peace.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Home Again!

I have returned home to A2. I had an interesting feeling the closer I was to A2, the more panic I felt. Panic may be too strong of a word, more discomfort. Normally I would be thinking of returning to my nice quiet, clean apartment and knowing I was coming home to a roomate who would want to talk the rest of the eveing was not something I was looking forward to. I just wanted to read my email, read the sports page and relax a moment. I find it truly interesting that I see this side of myself, almost reclusive. I also see that side of myself that jumps before I look. I jump into some things that really have gotten messy and I always get myself out and get myself cleaned up, but one might think that after jumping enough times into messy situations I might just learn to look before I jump. Maybe the old adage "can't teach an old dog new tricks" is more true than I would like to think. I am tired and probably should just go to bed and here I sit looking at the wall by the door that now has sticking notes pasted to roomies self reminders about something (of which I don't really even care to know what they are) I just know that I am not found of sticky notes pasted to the wall. (and it isn't really a big deal.....just one of those things that makes you god I need to chill out. I don't like the side of myself that I am seeing........Anyway.....I think going to bed is a perfect idea, so off I go. Peace.