Sunday, June 29, 2008

Eric Shiveley

Eric Shively is a "struggling artist" in Colorado. I read THISblog and saw his trailer for a movie that is making the film festival circuit. It looked like it would be something that I would love to see, so I asked and Eric himself emailed me. I was able to get a copy of his movie and his music. It is a great movie and his music is really awesome, so I want to share it with you all here. This is his trailer for the movie:

If you like what you see, you can find Eric Here


Ok, the prof for the stats class emailed me and I got a "B", which of course is better than a "B-" AND NOW I am finished. I think that is why I was pissy, just having that weigh on my mind, needing to know that I put that class in the books and can continue to move forward.

Part of the trouble for me is that I am used to being an A+ student, so getting "B's" is something that I am not used to, and it bothers me, particularly since in graduate school that is considered to be the lowest grade acceptable. I think that there is this internal struggle with "am I really smart enough to do this?" Certainly I had to be smart enough on paper to even be considered as a doctoral candidate in one of the top nursing schools in the nation, so logically, one must conclude that indeed I am smart enough. I know of master level nursing students here at Michigan who have applied to the PhD program here and have been denied, so it is not that anyone that applies is accepted. (Do you see how my mind is working...... this is called the "Impostor syndrome" Which is this feeling that I don't belong, that they made some mistake and that is how I continue to succeed at things, someone made some mistake and I just got lucky at each turn. Something like that, yeah, I am smart enough, I just need to keep reminding myself. Things are going to be much smoother for the next two months. I have 2 research proposals to write, research to conduct, a paper to present at Yale, and some time to breath too. It is all good.

"The boy" update, I think that things are going fine, we hit a little bump, one of those, learning how to "be" with each other things. No doubt that both of us pissy at the same time is not a good combination! When I get super stressed (as I was this week) my minor insecurities become more evident. Since I present myself as this "put together, intelligent, strong woman" the dichotomy of those insecurities seem even more glaring. I am who I am, so I guess we will see if "the boy" can love me as I am, good and bad. My heart of course will be broken into a million pieces, but, my heart has been broken into a million pieces before and I survived it, so if he walks away...... I will survive that too. I am hoping that won't be the case, because it is really difficult to find what I have found with him. can see that I still have a little "pissy" left in me, however, just knowing that the class is in the books, well, that just made my day! :o)

Ok, time to write a research proposal.......(it is due tomorrow :o)

Saturday, June 28, 2008


The stats class is over, I am hoping beyond hope that I get a "B".......if I have to take that class over again, I may just scream bloody murder. (Graduate work requires a "B" for the class to count, I am certain that I have said that before, but just in you know)

I am hot and sweaty and, well.....rather doesn't help that "the boy" is pissy too. We have discovered that both of us being pissy at the same time, isn't such a fun thing. Although he did bring me flowers today and made me dinner (that is like the 3rd time this week that he has made me dinner, I could get used to that!)

He is watching the Tigers, although he did take a break from the game to run over to the mall with me for a bit.

Alright.....I am not in the mood to update guess I better end this before it spirals down to a rant :o)

Peace Out.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008


Ack, this week sucks so much I can barely stand it! It is nearly over......I so hope that I can survive it!

My head has a dent in it. Seriously! It is still a little too sore to really manipulate it, but I keep trying to determine if there is a break in my skull. I am assuming if there is a break, I would have additional symptoms, so I suppose it is just.....dented.

Ok......I am trying to get to bed early........even though I should stay up for hours more to work on this homework, my philosophy is that a good nights sleep will actually make me more productive tomorrow. I will let you know if it works.

Nighty night.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008


I did a post on Monday, where the hell did that go? ACK! Anyway....busy week favorite hang out has closed shop (the MZone) so I am mourning the loss of that community of Michigan football fans........

"the boy" and I just bought a sofa together (well, it is ordered and should be delivered next week). I don't have a sofa, I had 4 swivel chairs and a leather ottoman, which worked ok for me this past year, but "the boy" likes to lay on the sofa to watch tv and well......that doesn't happen here, thus a sofa. We found one that we both loved but it was a bit out of my price range, so he paid the difference. We seem to keep doing things that scream "we are going to be together forever". Sort of cool.....sort of scary....but mostly cool. :o)

Ok.....back to homework, I promise to write more after this week!

Sunday, June 22, 2008

One more week!

One more week of this class that meets everyday and it will be over! I of course have lots to do before the end of the week. I must tell you that I am looking forward to a "little" break. July will be better and August will be better than that. I am ready for a little "Catie" time. Although, "the boy" makes what "Catie" time I do get really special.

Things with "the boy" are going well, better than well, almost perfect. I am really enjoying this relationship. We have been discussing moving in together. Of course that wouldn't happen until the end of summer, if everything is still going as well as it is now. I don't know about love at first sight, the timing here is very quick, we are working on 6 weeks now, it just is as if we fit perfectly together. I have never really felt that way with anyone. It has been really nice. So we shall see.

Friday, June 20, 2008

The Concert and such.....

Seeing my son was heaven, watching the Jack Johnson Concert with him was icing on the heaven cake! The concert was just incredible. He sang every song that I would have hoped that he sing. I stood and danced the entire concert (as did the entire audience) Of course we all sang to every song as well! My son was in total awe at the start of the concert. Jack Johnson is his favorite artist and he was almost speechless for the first 15 minutes, then he got into it. It was a LONG concert. It began at 7pm with the opening acts (2, Money Mark and Mason Jennings, both not bad), than about 9 pm Jack came on and he sang for 2 hours! It was a total goat screw getting OUT of the concert and getting out of the parking lot. We arrived home at 1:30 a wonderful pizza and breadsticks that "the boy" had brought over for us to have when we arrived home.

I had a stats midterm yesterday that was a little disconcerting to be out so late, however I did "ok" on the exam even after spending all of that time having fun.

I have one more week of this class......I have so much to accomplish in the next week that it is nearly going to be impossible......but the light at the end of the tunnel is lovely as after this next week, it will be July and the stats class will be over and things are going to be much smoother in July......even better in August!

My head is healing up well, still pretty sore but the swelling is down to simply the "bump" of where my head actually hit. The swelling was taking up half of my head!

That about does it! Peace Out!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008


Just a quick update. I am doing fine. No headache or confusion. I have a VERY sore noggin, but all is well. I of course stopped the new medication until I see the doctor later this week.

My son should arrive any moment so that we can enjoy a day together, including the Jack Johnson concert. I am crazy excited to see him and can hardly wait until he gets here. He is going to class with me and then we will leave for the concert from class.

I am hoping that you are all having a fabulous week!

Peace Out!

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

What was that?

Ok, so I am a little stressed (have been for what, 47 years now?), and my diet is not the best it should be, and I did start a new medication........ even still, I do not see what would precipitate me passing out. I met "the Boy" at a local restaurant for ONE drink (I did not even finish the one drink) we were there about an hour and when we decided to leave, I got a cold sweat and salivation in my mouth and I thought, I am either going to pass out or vomit, which is the last thing I remember until I wake up to see "the boy" leaning over me asking if I am alright. I hit my head very hard on a hard tile floor and have a VERY swollen and sore head today. I had him check my pupils and my hand grip. He stayed the night, iced my head and this morning I went to UHS (University Health Services). The doctor is a bit concerned because my head is really swollen and it is very obvious that I hit it quite hard. So I am suppose to ice it 15 minutes every hour and watch for signs of a brain bleed. She suggested "the boy" stay the night again so that I am not alone tonight. There is nothing obvious as to why this would happen except that I did start a new medication (which I will not take until I see that doc again on Thursday), my diet has been very low in calories, I am stressed about money and school (but hell, that is normal for me). The only other thing is that I may be coming down with something that hasn't quite manifested itself yet. (but seriously, I have been sick before, I never have passed out!) So......the real problem is, I do not have time for this shit. The next 2 weeks is super cram time and I need to be at 100%. *sigh* I am taking it easy today. Sitting here working on homework and I WILL go to class (I can NOT miss a class or I will get lost in this stats class), However, this evening I will be not going anywhere, and just resting. Tomorrow night is the Jack Johnson concert with Ben, and I don't want to miss that!

I must say was nice to have someone care about me. I don't think I have ever had anyone take such good care of me when I was sick!

Monday, June 16, 2008

The REAL new Uni's!

Ok, the first pic I posted must have been some prototype? (how about a hoax!!) Here are the new Uni's!

Sunday, June 15, 2008


It has been one month since I met "the boy" and I must say, I do believe that I love him. (I can hear all of you now, and trust me when I say that I am not rushing it.....but.....damn I can't help it!)

There it is.

I am crazy busy, only 2 more weeks of this class that meets 2 hours every day. I have more than humanly possible to complete in the next 2 weeks (I have said THAT before, and you can trust that I will say it again!). July will be a bit better, August will be a bit better than July. Then of course September will come and well.....I do have to say that I think that the Ritalin is making a difference.

Finances are at a scary stage, I am hoping that this week brings in some expected funds, which will ease the pain slightly.

Ok, I have LOTS of math questions to answer.....better hop to it! more youngest son (Benjamin) is coming into town on Wednesday to take me to the Jack Johnson concert that evening. I am crazy excited!! Not only to go to the concert but to see Ben and spend some time with him! I think I am taking him to class with me....hee hee....should bore him silly, but I will love to have him with me! Ok.....NOW......homework!

Friday, June 13, 2008

My how time flies!

I am shocked to wake up to see that it is the middle of June! Good heavens time is going so quickly! (and there is so much to do!!)

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

More Shit

[Ed. Note: I am not certain about the new Uni's for Michigan, but relatively certain......I think the thing that makes me question it is that the away uni's are also colored.......I thought that they were suppose to be white...hmmmm) anyway....take it for what it is worth........if it is true......they totally suck!] checkbook is missing. Nice huh? is a pretty good chance that the ex roomie took it. We stopped payment on the check numbers that I believe were left in the check book. Without the check book it is difficult for me to know exactly which ones were left. I of course was panicked about the situation, calmer now.

I have been having trouble this entire past year with focusing. This is such a long detailed story and I don't have time to spell it all out.....but......I saw a doc today and she put me on Ritalin......HA! I am hoping that it helps me to focus better. I like it for the fact that I only have to use it when I want to focus and it is not a long term, take one every day type of medication. I am one of those people that hates taking any type of medication. So....we shall see, I am hoping it makes it a little bit better for me in regards to school work......I might focus better. I can't even sit and watch TV without doing 3 other things (a pretty good sign of ADD) Gotta run.......

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Timing is everything

Well I just submitted a paper that was due with 10 minutes to spare. How is that for meeting a deadline. I have NO idea if it is a good paper or not! UGH! It is a critique of a research article that my professor wrote. Even more nerve racking! I am planning to recreate the same study that she did, thus I had to critique her article. The real problem was that it was limited to 5 pages INCLUDING the cover page. I went over by 2 sentences. I suppose I will lose a point for that. I could have easily written 10 pages.......*sigh*.

Having that finished feels good. I need to schedule out my time and get my other stuff completed sooner than the due date, the stress is horrible when I go so close to the due date (10 minutes!!) I would have preferred to have a day to let it sit and review again prior to submission. I lost my focus the last week (certainly understandable with the roommate situation) but it is more than that. "the boy" has some to do with it, just working out our schedules has been challenging. This week he changed his work schedule and that seemed to almost make it worse, although it was suppose to help...HA! I do think that we have adjusted better now and it will improve greatly. June is just a horrid month for me with this stats class that meets 2 hours every single day M-F. The level of intensity is turned up very high with that and I have so much other work that also needs to be completed in the mean time.

I am looking forward to completing the Spring and Summer term successfully and having a little bit of a breather in August, although August is when my data for my research should be complete and I will need to analyze it and write up the results, however it will be better to focus on that during August and get it reasonably complete before the Fall term begins. I don't expect too much of a breather until the summer of 2010 when I won't be taking any summer classes (although I will be studying for my prelims that summer.....well hell......ok so no real breather until the summer of 2012.....but then I will be finished! :o) Depressing huh? Nah, not really, it is exciting too and I LOVE learning and I have been learning SO much, both scholarly and I really am not complaining!

Peace Out!

Panic, Anxiety, and Stupidity

Well, for a smart chick.........remember the ambiguous statement I made a few days ago, about my a situation that was not going so well? Allow me to explain,

My roommate, after moving in, shared that he is on probation for assault and battery, the reason he told me this is because last week he was arraigned on some charges stemming from fraud (trying to cash checks that came from Nigeria, yeah, not too bright). I of course was not pleased with this information, but me being me, always wants to believe the best in people. Then, $20 was missing from my wallet. I was 99% sure that HE took it, but it is one of those things that there is simply this doubt in your mind that it was possible that I spent it and forgot (I am fairly poor at the moment, so I know how much money I have at all time!) But, confronting him seemed like a bad decision. I discussed it with "the boy" and some another friend and the best thing to do was to give him notice of 30 days (our rental agreement was by the month) and just get him out ASAP. I had not done that yet. There is much more to the story, but it is not necessary for me to go into all the details here. Anyway......Friday morning I thought that I would check my wallet to see if he PUT the money back........(I so want to believe in people) there was a $20, $10, and a $5 bill in there, exactly what I thought was in there. So, he hadn't put it back, but at least no additional money was missing! I went to the bathroom and did a few things and came back and sat down and thought, well, maybe I didn't look close enough, maybe he did put it I opened my wallet again, and the $10 and $5 were now gone. In a matter of an hour, I had not gone anywhere, no one else was in my apartment except him, $15 goes missing from my wallet. Now of course there is NO doubt in my mind that he is taking money from my wallet. I was physically shaking by this point and trying to figure out what to do. He was leaving for work in about 30 I waited. I was just going to call the police........"the boy" had a more rational plan, which I followed and included changing the locks on my apartment and leaving him a note. He had still not paid his rent for June, so legally that was my reason for being able to kick him out that day, AND I also knew that his estranged wife would take him back in so he was not going to be on the streets.
I however was a basket case, in full blown panic by Friday afternoon. I ended up going to the student clinic for some xanax and going to "the boys" house to calm down and wait for the Roommate to find the note. He of course denies that he stole from me. But.......he knows that he did.....and I know that he did. I boxed up his stuff and he came on Saturday morning to pick it up and it is now finished. I have course am financially in a pickle, but that is far better than not trusting someone that lives in your space. I could not have that!

How does all of this drama hit me? Holy shit! It is over now, so.......onward!

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Program Plan!!

Woohooo! I met with my program planning committee to present my program plan and it is now officially approved! YAY ME!

That likely means nothing to you all, but trust me, it was a long and painful process and now, the map of how I finish this degree is written in stone, including what classes that I am taking and when I am taking them, additionally all other requirements for my degree are also detailed in the plan. It is a large document and it is finally approved!!

I have MUCH to accomplish in the next 6 weeks so you get a quickie update.......coz I need to git er done!

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Good Lord!

Ok, there are a few things happening in my life that I can't actually talk about here..........a quote from my son should clue you in......."what next? You seem to always find a way to fuck up your life". Yeah. Nice huh? It has nothing to do with "the boy" in fact that is going better than I could possibly dream it could go. Hopefully in 30 days this little problem will be cleared up.....without physical harm to myself or losing everything I own :o) How is that for ambiguity!

Just send good thoughts and white light.............I am going to need it!

Stats class is going well, I have learned more in 2 days than I did in the two 16 weeks stats classes that I have already taken. It is going to be rough this month, but I think I will come out of it KNOWING this shit and that makes me very pleased!

Monday, June 02, 2008

Cool Site!

I found this site yesterday and it is tons of fun! You upload a photo of yourself and then people judge you simply on your looks. You MUST have thick skin, coz they are brutal!

Go Here

You can judge others as nice! :o)

[Ed. Note: I put the pic of me that I have on this site up and the average says that I am bright, not bad looking, average age 44 (I am 47, so not bad to have an average lower than what I am) The words to describe me are hysterical. Some are nice, some are....well, really mean like "witch" , "needtolose15lbs", "tired", "outdated", "scary", "depressed" and "fake". They guessed my name to be names like....... Bob, Helga, Martha, Delores, Helen, and Phyllis (wtf?) The did guess Maryann.......nothing close to Catie though! I put my old photo up (the one I used to use here) and I am waiting on the judging now......]

Sunday, June 01, 2008


Yikes! Suddenly I am buried in homework! ACK! I will be making a focused attention today to get much accomplished. Tomorrow I start a statistics class (I HATE stats!) that meets for 2 hours EVERY day M-F for the entire month of June. I am not looking forward to it at all. June is going to be a busy month! I know of one fun thing in son Ben is taking me to the Jack Johnson concert on the 18th! That will be fun.....of course all of the times inbetween "the boy" will help make it fun!

I had a very fun surprise delivered to my door! J&P my friends from Indiana sent me a birthday box of goodies. They are so good at knowing just exactly what to get me and I was not expecting it at all, so that was such a fun thing to open my door to find and then sit and open it up!

A short update today, as I really do need to get crackin, but please, if you missed the comment on my last post from Joe......please pray for his son. They are taking him tomorrow for a brain biopsy. Of course they are afraid and any and all prayers, white light......all will be helpful.