Well, sometimes you hedge your bets and lose.
I bet my last dollar at the roulette wheel.....and I lost.
No big deal really.
I took the wager before I really knew the stakes.
Now, I start saving my pennies, hoping to save enough to place another bet. After all..............
You don't find love unless you open your heart. One must place the bets, one must take the chance......
I am very grateful for 2 friends that I have made. Sometimes friends are far more valuable than a romantic love. (at least in my case, since romance doesn't seem to stick to me, I at least am able to find friends that stick (Big and Little are a perfect example). Friends are always good.
I will be saving the pennies, but I don't think that I will be placing too many bets very soon........losing has a tendency to make one a bit shy about placing a bet again.......but I am certain that I will.........coz I really am a dork. *smile*
ED. Note: Sitting alone in this apartment another day was a daunting thought, so I emailed Jim and said "watcha doin?, can we do lunch, dinner, tea or sometin?" He emailed back, "I will MAKE time, hang on." Soon, I was sitting in his living room cuddled up with a kitty, the sun shining on me and having real live human conversation. ahhhhhh. Friends are really a good thing.
The viewing is Thursday evening and the funeral is Friday morning. I will be traveling back home Thursday afternoon and will return to Ann Arbor on Friday afternoon. Saturday is the big Vegetarian Pot Luck at Jim's house, so I have a whole slew of people to meet and get to know, which could be really really fun! I like fun :o)
Peace.
2 comments:
Katie/Catie - your description of feeling along after your brother's death really touched me. Knowing that you're strong and that you can take care of yourself is good but it definitely has its down side. Everyone else expects that also.
When I was diagnosed last year, I was so busy being strong because I needed to "put on the face" for my husband and there were times I just wanted to scream and cry but didn't - cuz I'm the strong one.
My dear Ellen,
It is true, the expectation is there, everyone knows I can do it, and like you, maybe others find strength that we are strong? I guess that is good. It does feel lonely fucking lonely though.
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