Ok, so "the boy" is pretty cool. We have had a wonderful time together the last few days. I find it a bit odd that I am getting a strong sense of fear. Maybe that shouldn't surprise me. Hmm. Anyway, I could really screw this up. I think I should slow down, but how do you do that when it feels so good to be spending time with someone that you like?
I am not good at this stuff. I am not sure what the sense of fear is. It seems difficult for me to categorize it. Relationships with significant others are not something that I am good at. Oh, I know how to care about someone, it isn't that, I think that I don't know how to let someone care for me. And as soon as I find someone that can care about me......I become frozen with fear?
Meh. I am not quite sure what to do. If the fear is that I might not like him and then I will get myself into a sticky situation, or if it simply is fear to find something that I want and worry that it will disappear.
What I am doing at this point is legitimate, I have things to take care of for school so for the next few days I don't have time or "the boy", so that in itself will give me a little space to get a better sense of what I am feeling.
That said.....I have things to do.......I need to get moving!